Introduction to the series
I have been lazy in capturing and honing my thoughts and observations on life. As I move into the next phase of my own life (not retirement) I have more time for reflection and want to share my random thoughts more widely. The mini blogs below are definitely a work in progress not the finished article. I need feedback and comments to help me adjust and broaden my thinking and perspective. So don’t hold back. Check and challenge.
One warning. This is a series based on my own worldview and values. I know not everybody shares my perspective on the world and what I see as the remedies. But one of the topics I want to cover is how we all learn to disagree well. Our political discourse seems to have been poisoned by social media and whilst I seek feedback I would love us to demonstrate how to differ with civility. And also challenge me with your worldview. Again one of my values is to try and understand others and why they think and believe differently.
I have so many ideas I want to cover already and I get new ideas weekly. (That’s one of my weaknesses - trying to take on too much). At the moment I will concentrate on a few talks I have done which include Personal Development, self awareness, the Freedom of simplicity, defining success, Finding and defining purpose, leadership, dealing with complexity, learning through failure, Being in the Room, Rebel ideas and diversity, positivity, how a smile gets you through life!
If you have other ideas or questions please let me know and I will try to over the topic.
Taking Control of your Time and Life - Ending the Cult of Busyness
I have been meaning to write this blog for some time - but yes you guessed it I haven’t found the right amount of time to really get started. So here goes. This is now a constant work in progress as I edit this below as I go!
“It’s time to end the glorification of busy”
Over the last couple of years, as I realised I was being drawn into this culture of perpetual busyness, I have tried to find time and space to do the things I love. But being aware is not enough. We have to take steps to create the life we want and not the one dictated by others.
What I have discovered is that busyness has now become a ‘status symbol’. There is plenty of research that confirms this. We see busy people as important - surely they must be as other people are keeping them busy with stuff!
So conversations now start ‘Hi, how are you - are you busy? It is a way to measure or quantify what somebody is worth by their answer. Like most people I would answer dutifully that I was rushed off my feet being pulled all over the place because obviously I was so important ! Since taking back control of my diary I am as busy as I would like to be and now disarm people who still ask this question. “ Well no actually I am not, I had a coffee this morning and went to the gym and whilst I have a few emails to do that will be my day”. I think I have silenced most people with that reply, although I then jump in with the contents of this blog when they ask how that is!
“A good person will not waste themself upon mean and discreditable work or be busy merely for the sake of being busy”
— Seneca
I recall the debates in the 70’s about what we would all do with our leisure time in the year 2000 when automation and robots had replaced our manual tasks and we were all working a 3 - 4 day week. Clearly it has not worked out like that for us and the opposite has happened. We now seem preoccupied with busyness 24-7. But it doesn’t have to be this way.
I have had to learn not to be apologetic about not being busy. But why should I? So how have I managed to take control of my life and diary whilst still being able to lead a purposeful life?
I certainly don’t have everything right in life but I hope by sharing a few lessons of my own and then crowdsourcing others from readers we can all start to learn that not being busy it just fine. If You have a Life Hack you would like to share please feel free to message me!
Take Stock of Where you are Spending Your Time
Clearly if you don’t know how you are using your time you can’t start to make any adjustments. If you are too busy to track your time for a couple of weeks you certainly need to start straight away. It doesn’t have to be too sophisticated- it just needs you to start logging your days and hours. Do it for a week or so. My Fitbit tracks my sleep. I target my 8 hours and I am accountable to myself for not getting a good nights rest. My diary tells me where the gaps are. Just keep a simple journal and jot down when you sit to eat, rest, play or spend time on social media. Just start to be conscious of your time.
Decide How YOU want to spend your Time -
The most important aspect of this series will be to create time for the things you want to spend your life doing. For different readers this will mean different things. Many of the business blogs I read are about making you more effective by being ruthless with your time. There is space for that for those who want to be so ruthless but my vision here is for those who want to recover a life of balance and natural flow. For example, I have read to be an effective leader you need to say no more often. To be laser like in the time you spend with other people. I have have rejected this approach because most of the interesting things I have done in life have come from meeting random people at conferences, dinners or just for coffee.
This all of course links to how we define success. I’ve written on this before but I want to emphasise that for me this is as much about how I spend my time helping others as it is about some of the more traditional measurements. I acknowledge I am comfortable so money is not a driver of Of course all of these lessons are interlinked. If you see how I try lead a life of simplicity based on the ‘Freedom of Simplicity’ book by Richard Foster you can see that ‘success’ takes on a completely different look and feel to those worried about status and their identity in others. If you learn to enjoy your immediate surroundings and nature you won’t try to busy yourself with another contract or meeting. You can enjoy the moment. This then links into health and wellbeing and is a lesson for may who are stressed by overthinking. All these things are linked in a virtuous circle.
Learn to decide how to say NO.
I personally want to reject the notion that we automatically say no to the invites outside our core areas of interest. You may learn something or meet someone exciting. I am a NED on a couple of companies because I took time out to listen to an early idea! There are some limits I put down. I work on the basis that we achieve inner peace when our schedule is aligned with our values. So I let my values decide who I do and don’t meet.
Create Some Good Habits
There are plenty of resources around which I will link here about the need for habit forming. It is one of the best ways to ,an age your time, being aware of routines. I don’t mean to the point of obsession but it can help make use of how you use what might be seen as dead time. (Although you need plenty if this too for rest and thinking time)
So for me the habits I have formed are not to set heavy legalistic rules - but to create a framework. I sleep for the recommended 8 hours, I exercise to maintain the CMO Guidelines (in fact I do far more), I don’t drink or smoke and try to eat a healthy balanced diet. Although in the spirit of transparency this is where I fail most. The nibbles from the fridge or cupboard are my greatest problem. I create space to read long articles in the magazines i have -and I do use social media but limit myself to short bursts of catch up. I have many virtual friends so keeping a light touch relationship is better than losing touch altogether. I personally don’t subscribe to the Dunbar theory of 150 friends & contacts being the optimum. But again work out what works for you. I am happy with more ‘friends’ but a lighter touch relationship with them! This is typical of me… disagreeing with plenty of research and experience of others. I can be quite contrary.